June 10th

“I gotta make a plan for myself
Can't look to you can't look to anybody else
Only this way am I truly free
I wasted time too long now it's up to me” (Pennywise)

I"ll admit that lazy people bug me. People that go on vacation and just sit around on a beach and do nothing, that bugs me too. Taking 2 hour naps is a waste of time. That’s what night is for. People that take zero initiative to see the wolrd, people that are complacent and passive...Ugh! None of this bugs me to the point that it affects me too much, but it is just  waste of life. As far as I know we only have one chance on this go-round. Why wouldn’t you want to see what you can accomplish? Why wouldn’t one want to see the world and feel alive every day? And sure, I have a crap job (that pays pretty ok with good benefits) so I am not happy at that, and a career person could say the same about me, and maybe they do. I just choose to put my energies in a different place.

Running down a trail in the middle of the mountains is a serene experience that brings peace to the soul. Or pedaling a mountain bike on single track. Or riding a bicycle at 50mph down a mountain.  Except for the running at the moment, these are the things that make up my life on a daily basis. But it doesn’t have to be “x” or “y” or even “z.” Find a passion, give it your all, and take it as far as you can go.  People not having a passion is such a waste of life - surely something must light a fire inside. And I think the last few weeks really drove this home for me to why I think like that.  A couple girls that I’m really good friends with both lost their brother, another friend of mine lost his good friend, and then another friend lost his Grandma. And sure, maybe grandma was old and maybe it was her time, but dammit to hell, for the other 3 it was NOT their time. These people had a life, a passion, were good people with people whom loved and looked up to them. And now they are not here anymore. But Sally fatass eating her gallon of ice cream sitting on the couch each day doing nothing but taking up space will live to be a 100. Life isn’t fair and I realize that. But still, get out and actually live and love life. No one is guaranteed to wake up tomorrow. And crap, I may not even survive the day to go to sleep tonight, so I am damn sure that I will do something in life today 100%.

Nothing is worse than an indecisive person either, or one that lives for others.  I know what I want out of life, and have goals and sure, right now some of them are just dreams, but I will do all I can to make them happen. And if I fail so what? I am giving it my all, and I can gurantee that failure won’t be lack of effort or because I hesitated or didn’t or wouldn’t make a decision. The journey and pursuit of the goal brings so much joy and accomplishment as I work toward the endpoint. It might not work out exactly how I planned it but it should be fairly clost to my vision, because really - it’s up to me.  And I won't let myself down.

That’s my rant for the day.

 

Where it all started

my first real road bike - Nishiki International

I remember watching the Tour de France as a kid; I’m not sure what year it was, 1984 or 85? or maybe even 86. I just got my first “real” road bicycle, meaning it was something I would not flip the handlebars around and ride wheelies with, or jump, or basically beat the crap out of like every other bicycle I have owned. This was a real bike, meant for going faster, longer, harder, with toe clips that meant falling over was a cumbersome affair to untangle oneself. I even had some cool Avocet shoes that offered a harder sole to increase pedaling efficiency and grooves to hold my foot into place; this was a real frigging bike. And Hell NO do not forget to loosen your toe clips at a red light, there is no last minute twist of the foot to unclip with those damn things! I was ready to haul some ass.  Give me some spandex. A cool EURO La Vie Claire jersey and some matching Look shorts. Damn that was badass! As bad ass as you can be in spandex anyway.

It was the first day of the tour, and the prologue was it’s typical crazy short self, maybe 4K or so.  The pros did it in whatever time they did it in, I can’t remember. But I do remember hopping on my bike, hitting start on the cyclometer, and then pedaling my ass off around the neighborhood to see how close I could come to the winning time. Only quickly to realize that stop signs, other cars, and whatever other neighborhood hazard there is around to slow me down that it wasn’t a fair comparison. Sprinting up  to 29 mph, staying at  that speed maybe 5 feet, basically hyperventilating, then completely falling apart all within the first 400 yards.

Long slow rides with friends, stopping at Burger King to refuel, those were the food and fun days I remember from riding. Nowadays I am just getting back into the same type of riding I did as a kid. Getting lost, running out of food, exploring new areas, just riding without a distance, time, pace, or specific destination in mind. Having fun again and just being a kid on a bike. And I may not be  a bad ass in spandex, but don’t most superheroes where spandex? I may get to that point at some time. 

A few photos from biking and hiking Zion

One thing I have been realizing lately is I don’t take enough pictures – of the things I do. I take tons and tons of pictures of the kids, whether it is baseball, a little hike, the playground, jumping on the hippity hops at home, go carts,  or whatever our adventures entail. But when it comes to the time I am not with them I hardly ever take pictures. I have ridden at probably 10 different trail networks this year, and I’m pretty sure the only place I took pictures was in Utah. This year I have ridden in Anacortes, Kettles, Woodinville, Lord Hill, Galbraith, Chuckanut, Lake Padden, Salt Lake City, Jem trail loop in Zion, and Gooseberry Mesa at minimum, I’m probably missing a couple places. Amount of pictures I have taken in Washington…..ZERO!  

Hidden Canyon was a cool hike. Hiked along 300 foot cliffs which is pretty brave (for me).

   I need to change that – even on my road rides I see so many cool things, spending a couple hundred miles per week on a bicycle is such a cool way to see the world. Single track or some back road that not many people know about it filled with interesting things and memories and views that most people will never see. Sure, I took a picture of a canyon wall a thousand feet high in a national park – but 1000’s of those pictures already exist that are basically the same. Seeing an owl waiting patiently before it dives for its prey is indescribable, but not having a camera to capture the owl perched and waiting is inexcusable. So many amazing sunsets and full moon bike rides I keep forgetting to capture – I need to do better.

Waking up to this every morning was pretty cool.

Sunset was amazing each night.



4/7/13





This week I definitely crossed the line from riding my bike “just to have fun” to actually training for races. I rode about 215 miles, not crazy high mileage or anything, but the fact that I am constantly pushing myself to eke out another  .2 or .3 mph to my pace, or push my cadence a few revs quicker means the little switch got flipped. Oh, and I can’t forget about the amount of rain I rode in this week. Seriously, I got dumped on each of the last 3 rides – crazy amounts of wind and rainfall which is not too fun to ride in. I am not quite doing 5 hours rides in 38 degree downpours anymore, but 2.5 hours at a strong tempo in a deluge would not be happening if I wasn’t trying to get my ass back in bike racing shape. I know that I am enjoying the pedaling because I don’t even bitch to myself during the rides how shitty it is to be out in crap weather. This past Thursday it completely dumped on me for at least 90% of a 42 mile ride and not once did I internalize the fact that this weather sucks and I don’t want to be out here. Nope. All I thought was “Hey, I’m starting to feel stronger on the bike” and “Damn I love pedaling my bike and no one else is around, this is so peaceful and even the bunnies are hiding so hopefully I won’t have to worry about running them over and wow it feels good to be riding a bike again.” Yep, that’s what I think about when I ride. Just my cadence and bunnies.

3/31/13

Spent 4 hours riding trails like this on Easter Sunday. Gorgeous day in the mid-60's with a couple friends is a great way to spend the day. Anacortes certainly has a gem of a trail system and I'm glad I got to spend a day exploring and pedaling.

trails and more trails

Back on the bike…for about 6 weeks now, and yea it was running injury influenced I’ve been bouncing around endurance sports for the past 20 years now – triathlon, running, bike racing, trail running,  back and forth around the various forms of heavy breathing. It is so good to be back for a lot of different reasons. For one – I am really enjoying being around my bike riding friends again, and also meeting a lot of new ones as there are quite a few new people involved in the 4+ years I was gone. And oh my, the mountain bike sure is fun. Bombing down a bumpy single track trail with the bike dancing all sorts of way underneath you is such a fun experience. Elbows up, body centered, like a surgeon planting your tires between trail hazards and hitting the perfect line, only to completely drill something you didn’t see and flip over the bars the next second is still so much fun.  Hell, I’ve been pedaling on dirt for about 30 years now, ever since we made a supercross track for our BMX bikes in the fields behind Cloverbank school back in good ole NY.

  Riding on dirt or mud is always the most fun, but the road has been surprisingly fun if I get on the correct road meaning a steep incline or decline, or tailwind, or fast group ride. Well the more I think about it all of it is enjoyable except for trying to ride directly into a huge headwind. It will be nice when I get my good road bike back also (Are you reading this Gaby??????? : ) as I do have my Ksyriums all ready to rock that 15 pound rocket stip. OK, it probably isn’t quite a rocket anymore as I am working the engine, but it is certainly at least a Cessna, or maybe one of those gliders that get pulled a long because I am fairly certain that I can still suck wheel pretty well. I’ve been riding with other people so much that I am sort of missing the singular experience of the solo jaunt. I get a couple night time solo rides per week – but I’m thinking more along the lines of a solo mountain bike ride in the daylight. I’ve only done one of those since I’ve been back and ended up breaking a finger so maybe that’s telling me something.

STORY TIME

I don't want to limit this thing to just writing about running, or pedaling or whatever. No one reads these musings anyway - so I am just going to write whatever the hell(o) I want to write about. So suck on that people! : )

Damn do I have a story to tell. Some of my closest friends used to tell me "Dude - you need to write a book about all this crap!" And like a lot of poseur's in the world I always wanted to write a book, never was too sure exactly which kind to write though. I have so many unifinished manuscripts lying around - I lost count.  And it's the one thing that has come easily to me in life - writing, but not finishing. So I actually started one, and it's not exactly one I am hoping to sell, or even independently publish - but it sure is a damn deep and emotional story that I am never at a loss for words on how or what to say - at least internally. And yes, it will have running in it - what's a book without running? Of course many other things. It's a story I need to tell even if no one reads it, although I will make a few close friends read it, and if anything it will be hugely fun to write. But it's a story about me at my worst (and looking back and seeing how much of a mess I was will be comical now) and weakest to a depths of hell that I never knew existed until I actually lived there for a long time -  so I'm not sure how exciting that will be - but it's not the events that make up the story, it's the way the story is told that determines how good it is or will be. And if I am completely honest I will understand how big of an eff up I was at one time - but that's quite ok and I am happy with how things turned out from the central point of this story. Because the one thing I have learned is that no matter how bad one thinks things are - they can ALWAYS get worse. yep - that's a joke but also true. It's nice that I can look back at things and laugh now. Always have to laugh! and smile. Life is so much more fun that way : ) It sure is fun to write though, and the emotion behind it, the depth the little black words on a page can bring out, whether written (or read) is always a passion I will have).

Randumb Tuesday thoughts....

Random thoughts running through my head…OK, it’s not all running related, but I’m sure I can get it there,  but running is really such a small part in my life, and the most meaningless in my hierarchy of needs – or at least to what’s really important in life.  It’s a good thing when I am able to think about running or training or racing, because that generally means everything else is going ok. But just because the opportunity is there, it doesn’t meaning the running is going to go smoothly. For something the human form is supposedly Born to Do  (see what I did there?) it is also the most frustrating at certain times.

I stopped and thought about this while at physical therapy one day. I have no less than 8 people that I work with keeping me running. I have numerous physical therapists, athletic trainers, massage therapists. That’s a lot of people’s talents and education and hard work all trying to keep me running and happy and healthy. And yet I am still broken. I have had 3 separate issues in the past 10 days which directly impacted my running. My ongoing knee, blah blah blah, that’s fine if I avoid the trails, my calf / Achilles – but that’s no big deal. And now my foot. Seriously! How the fudgsicle do I get a knot in the tendon of my foot? I am getting really close to just hanging up the running shoes for a while. I have lots of bicycles that are needing some love thrown their way. But man, bike riding is such a massive time suck. And I still tend to ride a bicycle like I’m 20 at times; meaning I’m not always smart enough to slow down to go faster, instead hucking myself into some precarious moments which include bouncing off the ground at 25 mph or more.  Dirt hurts. Pavements is worse.

Why do all these girls wear those tall boots? Nearly everywhere I look they all have them. This is perhaps the largest most blatant evidence of the term “group think” that I can ever remember seeing. Even cattle when out in the field stray from one another now and then. . Do they all shop together? Because one girl got some everyone has to have them? Sorry but they look stupid. Maybe it’s the old punk rocker in me or some innate individualistic gene I possess, but those things just look plain silly when everyone looks the same. Why do all these women want to look like everyone else does? Don’t these women know that tryouts for ZZ Tops video “Legs” already came out 30 years ago.   Move on….

A quote I came across the other day stuck in my head…”There are two kinds of people in the world, the ones who go into a room and turn the TV on, and one that enters a room and  turns the TV off.” I am definitely a turn the TV off person, although living (mostly) by myself it’s never really on. I generally cannot sit still long enough to watch a movie, nor do I care to for the most part. But I can sit still and read a book. Not really sure what the difference is although culturally it is more acceptable to read a book -   for whatever reason sitting on your ass reading is better than sitting on your ass watching a movie.  Am I making myself smarter? I don’t know about that.  But watching TV seems like a passive thing to do in life, and I tend to take a proactive approach to everything I do. Nothing ever got done just talking about it. Or watching it unfold in some electronic form. But reading tends to enlighten and inspire? I dunno about that. I’ll just go outside and do something hoping that will satiate whatever desire I have to feel like I did something with my day.

Knees - Pffft!!!

Somewhere in here is the problem.
But where?

Being injured and not being able to do what you want is hugely depressing. Yes, I can still run, but I can’t run what I want to run, and the what I want to run is the basis for why I even run in the 1^st place. I am no happy plodding down a flat road, or running around a town (although that IS a good way to get errands done).

I have been dealing with some sort of knee pain in relation to running single track for over 4months. I can run up, I can run flat, and I can run a lot of miles, but running any “real” downhill like the kind often found when running single track just isn’t working. I took a month off of trail running, and stuck to the flats, and yes, my knee was getting better so I thought so I tried running trails – and nope! Not working. It was pain free for maybe 2 miles, but the first long 800 foot of vertical descending did not make my knee happy. It wasn’t horrible, but it’s not like 2010 where I could just let the stride open up and haul butt down a mountain.

  I have been pretty good with my physical therapy. Certain issues are ruled out such as patella tendonitis, and confirmed by an ultrasound that the swelling of said tendon is minimal. I’m at a loss of what to do at this point outside of hopping on the mountain bike and getting into the good stuff that-a-way. It’s not the way I want to do it  though, and anytime you have to stop doing something on your own terms it never makes one happy. I don’t know if I am quite at that point, but I do know I am close enough that I am actually thinking about this.  That scares me.

Teeter-tawtering




This is all the motivation I need



It’s a boring and conflicting time of year. Fog. Cold. Wet. Dark. Motivation sometimes rises and falls with the amount of sunshine, and then all of a sudden with no warning it is off the chart again.

One day I am in the middle of running 27 miles and feel completely burned out, then the following week I run 82 miles and just want to keep running.

Not sure what triggers this – but am just glad I am going all out again with seemingly unlimited (sometimes too much) motivation to run.

Lance has finally admitted the 30% truth, because really, with his arrogance and narcissism he must think we are all a bunch of idiots to believe he is telling us the complete story. I could write forever about this dude, and compare and contrast him with other people that I once knew, and that would be so much fun. I would love  to write it, but I won’t waste my time on him or anyone else that is either too dumb, too arrogant, or too callous to even get it. I wasted enough words on that, but did I mention how fun it would be? Go rot in obscurity after making amends with the lives your ruined – although that’s not really possible.

Call me pessimistic, but do people really honestly believe there is no PED use in ultrarunning? Really? Again. Really? And how long did it take you to understand that Lance was NOT clean. Or Marion Jones. Or Ben Johnson. Or...(the list goes on). I hate to pat myself on the back, but I think I had been a non believer since at least 2001. Add the facts up and sometimes things that are too good to be true are just that. I would never name a name without proof, but some of these times from 2013 are just plain crazy fast.  And the amount of improvement people make from year to year is astonishing. Hours improvement in a single year? I’ll remain skeptical about a lot of these runners and really just hope I’m wrong.

Back to my running. Mine mine mine. My running. Like it is a physical object that I can wrap my arms around or something.  The truth is far from anything like that – I have never been able to settle all my running riddles, and currently I am in a huge one. Patella Tendonitis…patella tracking issues…whatever. The only thing I know is that I CANNOT run downhill without pain. And it’s not a little bit either, it’s the stride altering kind where I run like I have a peg leg, but nope, it’s just my leg, no peg. Physical therapy gets me to cross train, I have always been such a slacker in that regard, and avoiding elevation does seem to help.  But gosh darn it, I miss the single track. If I was ever patient enough I would just go to Tiger Mountain and walk to the top of it, and gingerly walk down.  At least I’d get some single track back into my soul. But I know I would end up peg legging downhill – and of course the knee would be stressed.

Oh! Did I mention with this injury I am still able to run 80+ miles per week? Yep, I cannot understand this one either. Although I think someone should just permanently attach whatever kinesio tape job is always on my knee. Riddles. I like easier riddles. Like I’m hungry so I should eat. Or I need to be here so I need to leave at this time. This one is above my knowledge base, and I’m not quite sure the people I have been working with are entirely successful in decoding my knee dilemma.  I have eight weeks left to train for a 100K – I’m not worried about running 62 miles, I’m worried about the descending and climbing within that 62 miles. I could always powerwalk it, uphill no big deal but it would be so painful (mentally) to have to walk or run gingerly  downhill.

  Maybe I can find a run across Nebraska? Or Kansas?



 

Pigtails 50K

I don't have any pictures for this race...I could get some easy enough, but just picture a flat trail through the woods, well, mostly flat anyway. And a stream next to it surrounded by Evergreens and other fauna - that was the gist of it.

For whatever reason I just wanted to run a sub 4 hour 50K, and although I’ve done it in training runs before - but never an “official” race so I figure this was a good place to cross this one off the list since I can’t seem to run a good 100. I did have some pretty decent fast training runs in the past few weeks so I figured I’d give this a go. Although this is nothing like I usually run, 0% single track, over 50% on paved trails, it is still fun and felt good to actually motor along at a decent pace and to run rhythmic…is that what I was doing?  The first ½ of the course is gently downhill, which was making it tough to not run too fast since I felt like I was fighting myself just trying to stay above 7:00 pace.  Although I didn’t realize it at the time, the wind was at my back also. I went through 13.1 somewhere around 1:33 something and barely felt like I was running. We turned around shortly after that and I quickly noticed I was on a gentle uphill, and a nice little head wind just for the fun of it. Occasional snowflakes dropping from the sky were much more welcome than rain would have been. The miles were still ticking by semi ok in the 7:15 – 7:25 range but as I passed mile 18 I noticed my quad was starting to tighten up. And when the legs start to tighten the mind usually does some weird thing where time slows down and the miles feel soooo much longer. But really it was fatigue setting in. I’m old. I’m getting slow. That’s life but I still run semi ok for someone just past 40, right?  That’s what I tell myself anyway. Besides, I still enjoy it just as much as I ever did.  At the mile 21.7 aid station the 50K people had to take a different trail for a short out and back to get all our  mileage in, that was a nice little (and I mean little) hill followed by more gentle uphill. Which of course we all got back on the way down. After that it was just try and hit sub  8 minute miles as best as I could and survive to the finish. I made it in 3:56 and some change which equates to about 7:30 per mile per my garmin and the mileage I had. I actually thought I would be somewhere around 3:50. But whatever – it was a fun day running, got lucky with the weather, and it’s not often that I have a sub whatever goal and actually make it. Time to rest up, take some time off, get my knee healthy, and do something else for a (very) short time before it’s back to the single track. Thanks to all the volunteers out there, there were awesome. I would have loved to hang out and talk Tiger Mountain a little longer with them like the girl at mile 21.7 and again after the 50K bonus out and back, but I needed to get the race done before the snow turned into rain. I’m still trying to figure out what to run in 2013. Zion – check. A couple small races. Check. Need something for later in the summer but not sure where I want to go?

The Waiting Game



Zion. Coming soon
 to a run near me.

 
 

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”

Rumi

Wait is defined as “to postpone or delay something or to be postponed or delayed” (Dictionary.com).

Someone once asked me to wait for them. A week turned into a month which turned into many months. Then a year. Then more months on top of that. All hiding behind lies and self fulfilling agendas. I was going through a lot of stuff in life at the time besides this. I became hugely depressed. Most days I didn’t even want to wake up, and there was no denying that I was at a point where that was a distinct possibility. It turns out that person is a liar. A user. And a piece of shit that I am thankful things didn’t work out with. I was at a point where I was no longer me, but I let that happen. Lesson learned though - so I take some positive from that.

Another person asked me to wait for something just recently also. I couldn’t get an answer to what in fact I was waiting for. So the answer is no – I’m not waiting. Life doesn't wait, and most often I won't either.

How does all this tie into running? Or life since for me the two are so closely intertwined? I don’t know if I can explain it clearly (or concisely) but I’ll try. I’ve had people ask me how I am going to feel when I’m crippled at 70 years old from all the running I do now. Again – am I supposed to wait for that to happen through natural causes or osteoporosis, old age, arthritis or atrophy? Am I supposed to save my knees, hips, ankles, and whatever else I’m supposedly wearing out so I can win the weekly mall walking lap race against the other old geezers? Would that entail sitting around doing nothing now? Only to save myself for that time? So I can be an able bodied old bastard I should let present life pass by? Where is the sense in that? I don't see it.

The only thing I have figured out for myself is that life is about now, today, in this moment which I am in control of - as I get out of each day I wake up and think how awesome each moment within this day will be. I am not going to live for anyone outside of my kids and people close to me.  I am going to be there for them from the moment they were born to the moment I die, and come hell or high water there is nothing that could ever stop me if needed. And in between I am going to experience life to the fullest extent I can. I am going to see all parts of the world that I always wanted to. I look back and think of all the places I have seen a sunrise or sunset, in all different mountain ranges and all time zones. My own picture book in my head could be it's own Ansel Adams gallery. And it is still growing because I am still living for now because tomorrow is not guaranteed. Sure, I have regrets and many wasted days in the past, but the fact is I have learned so much in living life so far it makes me realize that even the bad days weren’t completely wasted because they brought me to where I am now. In a good place, seeing so many new things and meeting so many interesting people from all parts of the world and life.  It’s a pretty amazing journey I’m on right now, and this ride is just getting good. I can’t wait for it to continue. And I’m not going to either. And I still have many miles left to run.

Grand Ridge 50K

There is no flat trail once on the single track.

Grand Ridge 50K – I ended up winning but didn’t feel as if I ran well. I saw little Megan back there (hi : ) and man, I didn’t want to get beat by a little girl, I’m sure that time is coming soon but not quite yet please. The rocks killed my wimpy feet too. It sure sucks getting older. But in all seriousness, I think it’s the fact that I really haven’t run many trails this year.  With so much going on all the time and running so many miles I didn’t always have time to drive and run 20 miles in a single day.  In hindsight it may have been better to run 15 miles on trails as opposed to 20 around town. The race started off as most 50K’s start off, 5-6 people going way way WAYYYYY too fast. I don’t know if they just wanted to lead a race, or they were feeling so well so early, or what it was. But I thought I had a 4:50 in me for this run, so I just ran the pace I thought I needed to which was 2:02 for each lap and then whatever on the short 5 mile loop. First lap easy – 2:02. Second lap I was actually pretty good, lost some time when I needed to pig out at the aid station, and drink a bunch. But I think it was maybe2:06 or 2:07. The last lap was pretty bad. I took a couple minutes trying to get food in me before I set off on the last lap, and also had to drink because the preceding aid station had a line for the fluids which I did NOT want to wait for.  Anyway, to make a long sob story short, I sucked on the last part of the 3.5 miles of climbing before the downhill. I was still “running” but it was pathetic. Shit hurt. Whenever I get like this I get a Phil Ligget quote in my head that he said one time about Jan Ullrich as Lance was dropping him in the mountains, “It’s like his brain told his legs, bridge to engine room more power, but there isn’t any.” The last 2 miles was a complete bonk. I dropped my last Clif Blok on the ground, and that was it. It fell in cinematic slow motion too, it was pretty  amazing. Or maybe I was just running in slow motion at that point, it was hard to tell. Luckily it was mostly downhill to finish so I shuffled my way there in a complete cement shoed bonk. It did down pour for the last ½ mile or so, but I was too hungry to care. Made it to the finish, stood under the EZ up, and then saw pizza and muffins and attempted to eat my weight in food. Yummy. I also won a choice of Rudy Project sunglasses and then a case of muscle milk for the win. Yum yum. Time to seriously get my old ass into shape though. OK, I do realize I’m in decent shape, but not exactly the race shape that I want to be in. But as always, it is so awesome to run in the woods and enjoy the solitude and clear thoughts of nothingness as the ground blurs beneath my feet. That’s a good happy place to be.

Tiger Mountain @ Night

Tiger awaits in the distance as darkness comes.

We are hoping to make these a regular occurrence this winter. BS and I ran somewhere around 13 miles with about 3950 of gain. His phone app GPS  thingie said only  11.9, but my Garmin said 13 so of course we go with what mine says. It was really hard to see (duh! It’s nighttime) and on most every part of trail the pace was severely limited by poor visibility more than anything else. Even running up the mountain I couldn’t run as fast as I wanted to just because of it being so difficult to see the hazards.  We did a couple summits,  ran around some  other parts of TMT trail, got semi confused because of the darkness making it a lot more difficult to tell where we were on the trail, but otherwise had a pretty fun time and with that much gain in such a short time that’s a decent run. I also think that by running more technical single track in the pitch black it should also increase our technical running and line choice through the more difficult parts of single track, if not it’s still fun. Or we’ll trip, roll an ankle or have other semi stupid thing happen, but I could just as easily trip on a sidewalk crack in the darkness, I’d much rather run in a mountainous setting.  It is also helpful just becoming more comfortable running in the mountains in the middle of the night solo. Because that always freaks me out. I’m just a kid from upstate NY’s suburbia.

Great visibility. My light is a little better than this, but 140 lumens ain't as great as it sounds on tech trail.

Javelina Jundred

4 days in AZ and this is the only picture I took. Lame.

Seeing numerous shooting stars perform my own private firework show over the Superstition Mountains with a full moon - while a pack of coyotes howl less than a mile away is pretty awesome - and something most people won’t ever experience.  Mere words will never justify this sensation; the sights, smells, and euphoric calm of those moments of clarity in a semi delusional state of heat induced exhaustion – my own Thoreau-like Walden existence if only for this brief moment within my life.    I give myself high expectations that I constantly fail to meet at this distance as far as results are concerned – and sometimes forget that I could care less about racing as an entity in and of itself.  Once in a while I need reminding it’s the journey that gets me there that I enjoy more than the race. I honestly could care less about racing against other people, the only thing I am trying to achieve is the internal  goals I set for myself. Next year should be pretty cool. With some friends we are planning some pretty cool multi-day runs, getting the details worked out and schedules aligned will be difficult but we’ll give it a whirl, and whatever I come up on my own will bring me to new places and new experiences. But before I get off on that tangent, here’s how it all went down in the desert of Arizona.

Another 100, another DNF for me @ this distance. Not sure what it is but I cannot seem to figure this distance out. Although I was disappointed of dying a painful heat induced death, there were still many moments that were cool for me.

This was not a  typical 100 mile setting for me (or any distance for that matter) so I’m not real stoked to write about this run. Without a “normal” tree (cactus are not normal to someone currently living in the northwest) in sight I may as well have been running on the moon. I like trees. I like real dirt. I like clouds. And sometimes I really likes me some rain. I would have loved some tall shade trees or rain in Arizona. But nope, I was in a desert, and sure as shit it doesn’t rain in the desert, and not much grows there either. I am not a sunshine person, I like it ok, but I am not one for the heat unless I’m sitting on my ass doing nothing; which doesn’t happen all that much, and if it I'm sitting it won’t be for long. Anyway, here’s my JJ story….

The flight down was pretty chill, got to see the grand canyon from the sky which was really cool, picked up the rental car and made my way to the shady motel I was to spend the next 4 nights. I was not too impressed with Mesa, not a very visually appealing town. A million strip malls, flat, brown, quite a few golf courses that I’m sure require enough water to maintain that could hydrate an entire 3^rd world country – per golf course! The weather was decent, warm, but not overly so. I just chilled out Thursday, read some of Tyler Hamilton’s book about the mob like mentality (and Lance IS the don) doping of bike racing, and that’s about it. Friday morning I went and ran a couple miles because my legs haven’t been feeling all that decent, had lunch, went to packet pick up, ate some pizza for dinner, then tried my best to sleep.

Saturday morning rolls around and it’s off to the races. I did not have my head firmly planted in this run for whatever reason. Maybe it was the knee injury I have been trying to deny and fix, or something else was amiss. The prior 2 weeks I was not able to run like I wanted to, and I felt like my fitness was suffering because of it. In mid –August I felt really fit. I would run 10 miles of single track on Tuesday, and easy 6-8 on Wednesday, then run a 26.2 mile training run in 3:15-3:20 for the fun of it on Thursday, and then run another long run on Saturday. But I also know how this running stuff is super mental and was trying to talk myself in to the run. Mentally it’s easy enough to flip a switch, physically you can only do so much.

6 laps plus a shorter lap. Off I go. Run starts in the dark but lights were only needed for about 1.5 miles. The landscape was  completely different than anything I’ve ever run in before. Even eastern WA is nothing like this. And the intensity of the sun as it climbed to its perch in the sky is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. The oppressing heat was ridiculous. By end of lap 2 I was looking for somewhere to duck and cover. Nowhere to hide, just have to run.  I’ve run plenty of warm races, some with triple digits like Ironman Coeur d’Alene in '03 when it hit 105, but this was way worse. CdA has shade. The desert does not. This was like leaving an oven burner on and holding your hand 2” above it. Just brutal.  OK, now that I’m done whining there isn’t much to write about : ) When the sun finally dropped behind the mountains to the west I got a huge emotional lift, and ran pretty steadily to finish lap 4 and 62 miles. And took off on 5 feeling slightly upbeat but I was physically really tired but was hoping I would snap out of it. What’s funny is my parents were at the race (they were on vacation in the area already) and after I saw my mom she said I looked really well at this point. Said my face has good color, etc. But looking back on that now I think it was just the sunburn. I was feeling pretty hollow. I was trying to force anything with nutritional value in my stomach, but to no avail. It just wasn’t working. It either wouldn’t go down or would make its way back up.  And at about mile 67 I sat on the side of the trail and was not at all worried about snakes, scorpions, tarantulas, or anything else that could make me pee my pants as easily as a 3 year old sitting on Santa’s lap. I decided to try to get to the next aid station which was mile 69 or 70. Walked the rest of the way there except for downhills. Finally made it to said aid station and promptly took a nap. Woke up an hour later hoping I would feel better but I was completely exhausted like I have never felt before. I walked/ran, walked and walked some more trying to cover ground as best as I could. But I was just so tired; exhausted. Not sure what the deal was with this complete lack of energy, and it wasn’t even that. It was the “I need to go to bed” tired. I never feel like that - ever! As someone that never slept much for my first 40 years this is a bad time to have this creep up on me, although in hindsight for the past 8 months I probably have had the most consistent sleep I ever had. Scraping shit off the bottom of your shoes (so to speak) will help that.  I ran into a lady at about mile 72 that was a complete mess. She was shivering uncontrollably, barely able to hold herself up, leaning on another runner. I had my run jacket tied around my waist so I put it on her and zipped it up also, just like I do for my 3 year old. She was completely unable to take care of herself. I talked to her pacer as the runner was unable to speak and told them I would send help back from the next aid station which was only a mile ahead. I wish I knew who it was because now I have to buy another jacket. I hope she enjoys it, but it was the right thing to do and as bad as I was she was worse.  I ran (ok, a crazy slow jog as this is not really running anymore but still moving FW but only kinda sorta) to the next aid, talked to them and then ran a couple more 11 minute miles until I crossed the road which I knew was 1.5 miles to the end of the loop. Made it there and I was done. The last 15.5 miles took me 7 hours. But on the bright side my knee was pretty good; there’s always positives if you sort through enough poop.

Drove back to the hotel and slept for about 5 hours, then vowed to never run a 100. Now it’s about 10 days later and I am already figuring out how to better prepare for one and checking the schedule of where I’d like to go and try. I’m not sure what it is about running 100 miles that is the allure for me. I suck at this distance. Anything after mile 70 completely sucks.  I’ve run I don’t know how any marathons and ultras, enough that I’ve lost count but if I had to guess I would say 50, and probably another 35 or more in training. But I am pretty determined to figure this distance out. I really believe that I have the physical capability to run a pretty good one, at least one that would be satisfying to myself, and really that’s all I ask for. I basically have 2 options, either quit this distance, run 50K and 50 milers that I know I can run and can usually guess within 5 minutes how I will finish, or continue to try to conquer my personal “final frontier.” Not really much of a question is it?

Pre-Javelina Jundred

I stole this pic from the web. Somewhere on the JJ100 course...

As I write this I have one week to run. As in one week from this moment I will be somewhere around 10-11 miles in with about 90 miles left to run. I am so looking forward to this run, to getting out of WA for a weekend, to actually getting to do something fun – and of course running 100+ miles in the desert of AZ sounds like a lot of fun to me. I wish it were today though, I think for the most part my knee is better, and my legs want to run. I ended up having to do a 3 week taper just because of knee issues I had before and after the Baker Lake 50K. But considering I only have to run 10 – 11 minutes miles I should be OK. I’m not obsessing over my running so much like I have in the past, but maybe it’s because of all the miles I’ve run in preparation for this upcoming day. Lots of 80-90 mile weeks with a high of 107. Or maybe it's because I have been playing the guitar a lot also, and doing other things besides all of that as well. I know I won’t be at my optimal condition for running a decent 100, but I’m hoping it will still be pretty good. I think you have to keep building on this long stuff to be decent at it - each one is another brick in the foundation. Maybe by the time I get to Zion or Superior Sawtooth or whatever I come up with I will be content with my preparedness, until then I’ll just keep trying to figure this stuff out. But overall I think I'm pretty good.

Baker Lake 50K (IV)



No Words needed.



Ahh good old Baker Lake 50K. This was the first “ultra” I’ve ever run.  The first year I ran it without having run past 15 miles in quite a few years, but figured what the hell I could survive. And I did in a pretty slow time but it was so fun to play on the trails. Every little sound I heard back then -being the newbie I was – scared the crap out of me, whether a  bird flying through the brush, or squirrel in a tree, I thought was a giant bear or cougar getting ready to pounce on me. Now I could care less for the most part after seeing those in past few years, although snakes can still make me come close to the world high jump record if I see them unexpectedly on the trail.  Although everyone laughed when the RD sent us off with a “Don’t feed the bears” warning it’s been in my head ever since thanks to him.

I ran this again in 2009 after just getting back into running after racing bikes for a few years, then in 2010, but  not 2011 because I was in the midst of a downward spiral and was broken in lots of ways besides just running, and then 2012 came and I’ve been running a butt load of miles at times but only raced once so far this year – and it was just a tiny race but the trails were super fun and got a bottle of a wine for winning which a friend of mine enjoyed. Baker lake feels like coming home again, home to why I love running trails, and why I love running in the first place. Yes, I want to run fast, or at least to the best of my ability on that day, and yes, it’s more satisfying to finish toward the pointy end of the pack, but in all honesty I just love being out on the trails, lost in my own thoughts, with a glimpse of Mt. Baker in one eye as the sun reflects off Baker Lake with the other. Serene. Peaceful. The only noises I hear are the my laboring breath, the animals scurrying around me, and my footsteps dancing in and around the leaves and rocks of the beautiful single track as I propel myself forward. A slow time or poor weather would never diminish the peace and gratitude I feel while being able to run in the setting.

So 2012 was my 4^th Baker Lake, and the weather was picture perfect. I like to run across the damn as part of the 2 mile warm up I like to do to wake myself up and eek out the stagnation from the drive up north, and to get the chill out of the withering bones I possess. Coming back across the damn Mt. Baker was shown in my own personal postcard setting. Breath “takingingly”beautiful. After all, this is my first Baker as a 40 year old. So I do all the usual pre-race junk, and start to make my way to the line and then I hear the started dude say, “20 seconds.” I thought there were a few minutes, but I’m excited to get to the single track. So off we go, myself, Adam and Todd are pretty much by ourselves. Adam slowly pulls out a gap and disappears and Todd and I start talking, and talking a lot. It makes the time go by quickly, and the next thing I know we see Adam coming back toward us after the turn around and we are just about there. A couple minutes of cruising 7:00 pace and we’re there as well. I fill my bottles and chug a bottle of Nuun I had stashed, Todd says he is taking off because he is already done, and then I’m off. I ran pretty quick for the next 6 miles, and never did see Todd again, but not because I didn’t try, he was just running faster. Adam is long gone. And I am alone on the trail which is quite ok with me. I started trying to do math in my head and was just hoping for a sub 4:30, and figured I was on track for that. It was just such a peaceful run on the way back, the encouragement of the early starters is always welcome when our paths cross,  and it’s nice to see an occasional person now and again just to say hi and see the enjoyment or pain (but will later turn to accomplishment guaranteed) on all the faces of everyone there. Because really, we are all there for different reasons, some run for their own mental clarity, to accomplish a goal, to lose weight, or so they can eat donuts, because they are tired of the road and the rat race road races are becoming, because they like to hike and this is kinda like that, or simply because they don’t know they are supposed to do anything else.  There are a million reasons why people run, but the bottom line is you don’t run 31+ miles unless you love it and the feeling it gives you when you are out there.  I went through the marathon in 3:45 so I figured sub 4:30 was easy enough. I was a little worried at one point as the fatigue started to set in and my ass felt larger on each little rise,  but I always knew I had it. I was still running downhill well, except for my trip and slide into 2^nd base, but eventually popped out on the road with 10.5 minutes left to run the 1.5 miles to the finish. Knowing it was a little downhill I felt ok. So I just cruised in and made it with 11 seconds to spare. But thoroughly enjoyed myself once again. Running baker is always a special  - it is perhaps the most perfect 50K in Washington. I can’t wait to run it a 5^th time next year.

1+1 + ???

Meep Meep. Remember when cartoons were violent? Miss the good ole days of Looney Tunes.

I've been busy at work and haven't had time to write much. I have all my writing ideas backing up - so eventually I will (hopefully) catch up and be able to write then - I think they're pretty good. Anyway, just a update...

Two good Saturday training runs in a row – a 3:55 50K and then a 1:53 16 mile which I started out running slowly (7:30’s) and then finished with the last 5 or 6 miles around 6:30 pace. Not too bad for an old bastard. Beep Beep. I get to run a race in a few days which will be nice as I haven’t run one in a lot of months, and the Baker Lake 50K is probably my favorite trails of the local variety.

Running and Animals (my take!)

Although I run a lot of miles in the woods and mountains I hate animals. Of the biggest ones I worry about I will write them in order of which ones I fear the most, not necessarily the ones that will most likely sink their teeth (or fangs, claws) into me and also make me crap my pants and scream like my 3 year old daughter going down a slide. My non running friends and / or coworkers think that I am tough or something because I don’t think it’s that big of a deal to run 30 miles after work or 100 miles in the mountains. But I can assure most anyone that I am the biggest pansy in the world when it comes to natures little creatures. Sure, I run trails solo a lot, in the dark, in the afternoon, any time anywhere I will run them with or without someone else and generally it doesn’t bug me too much, but anyone that has ever followed me on single track when I come across a snake (even a cute little baby Gardner snake) and witnessed me jumping 10 feet in the air no matter the amount of miles in my legs can attest to my pansyness.

Bears – I am not too worried about these dudes. I haven’t seen them too much, the closest I have been has been running Tiger Mountain and it was maybe 60 feet away bulldozing its way through the thick bushes and small trees as myself and 2 other guys ran the single track.  I have read enough stories though to make my meager heart skip a beat at any noise I hear. The sentence I just wrote I will be able to write under each animal I write about under this post.

Cougars . Rattlesnakes. Alligators - I’m not sure how to rank these. All of them make me wish I was born with the innate ability to stay indoors and play videogames for hours on end as the soul meaning of my life. But I will just write about them in alphabetical order as they could all make me crap myself quicker than a gallon of Exlax on a 4000 foot downhill run.

Alligators. I’ve only had to worry about these on a single run – Rocky Raccoon in Texas. I still remember checking out the run the day before the race, entering the park and seeing a sign that read “Aliigators Exist in this Park.” All I remember thinking was, “Awesome!” So everytime I ran near water, or mud (which was nearly everywhere since this was a trail race) I ran a little quicker, and a little more quiet. Of course the only thing I saw was an armadillo.  Maybe my quick and quiet running was elusive enough to avoid scary predator known as the alligator.

Cougars. I have seen one of these whilst running before. It might have been 2002 or so. I was running with the old running group above Monroe, WA on some old not used any more logging roads. There was a group of maybe 6 of us and myself and another guy were a little bit ahead on a long climb. As we crested the top I saw one bolt off down another trail. I said to the other dude, “Holy Shit! Did you see that cougar?” And sadly he said he didn’t because he was too busy staring at the ground while running up the big ass hill. I sure saw it though and am just glad I was with others when we came across this thing. Lots of times when running and there is an overhang above the trail, or I hear something big running in the woods near me (near me means I can hear it) I will often crunch my neck up making it shorter and less of a target as I imagine the cougar about to launch itself and sink its teeth into me. And these cats are tough as nails too. While in Yellowstone last year on a backcountry trip some dude showed us cougar crap and it had bones in it explaining how they eat virtually all of their prey, bones and all. Them is some tough sons sa bitches. Although good luck trying to shit out my femur to the stupid cat that wants to eat me. That’s a joke to the non sense of humor person, I know a few of those : )

Rattlesnakes. This is a newer one to me. Although I have run in areas where they exist in the past, I have never truly worried about them too much. But with having to run in Arizona next month, and possibly Zion and Leadville next year the crap is building within me that I may empty into my proverbial pants (or running shorts) someday soon. I still remember running the Capitol Forest 50 miler 2 years ago and seeing a little tiny non threatening snake in the middle of the trail somewhere around 40 something miles in – and I still jumped about 10 feet high. So if I hear a rattle I just hope I can ascertain where it is coming from so when I jump I can do it away from the sound. All I can imagine is that I will have to crap at about mile 80, and I’ll be hovering just off trail, and then all of a sudden I’ll hear a rattle as I squat. My shorts will be around my knees or lower, I won’t be able to gracefully remove myself from this dangerous predators personal space, and it’ll be pissed because I am about to literally crap on its parade. It will sink it’s venomous fangs right into my ass cheek (or worse) and instantly suck what little energy I have left and in my depleted state the toxins will render me paralyzed yet writhing in pain until I expire. Talk about getting caught with your pants down.

I think the if any of them are going to get me though and I have to get bit or eaten or clawed I think I would choose the alligator or cougar. Seriously, how bad ass would it be to go out that way. If it’s gator I’m sure as hell going to rip one of his eyeballs out a la Happy Gilmour, and if it’s a cougar and I am losing I;m at least going to leave a mark somehow on his sorry (but well fed I’m going to surmise) ass even if I have to sink my own teeth into his furry hide.

Is that a zombie? Or a dead dude?

This past Saturday I did another longish run of 55 miles in prep for Javalina. It’s a pretty flat run, only about 2K of elevation over the whole run, the biggest climb is about 300 feet that I do at miles 20 and 30, then a very gradual 3 ½ mile climb starting at about mile 36. It was a warm day also, perfect prep for AZ with the temp being about 90 when I started.  With the warmer weather I started off a little slow, keeping the pace around 8:50 which is ok for a training run, not blazingly fast but adequate nonetheless.  Having to run the kids to sports in the morning from baseball to soccer, and then lunch and then back to moms the run started much later in the day than I wanted, but sometimes I have to get the miles in whenever I can.

So anyway, on to the run. Just chilled our for the first 6 miles to where I can fill the camelback at mile 6. I knew I needed to drink a bunch because I didn’t really top my body off before I started, but no worries right? Right? Wrong. From mile 6 to 21 there is no water and this was probably the warmest of the day besides. I did drink my whole camelback, and everything was feeling good as I constantly had to slow myself down to a reasonable pace. But I didn’t go to the bathroom once so I knew that wasn’t a good sign. Stop at friends house, fill the camelback and continue again. Legs are not feeling the best at this point, but hoping once I get water in my body I’m hoping I recover and legs come back. Ding! Wrong answer. 10 miles later and my brain is foggy, not thinking too straight. Legs feel like shit. Not good. Decide to hang out at friends for about 45 minutes and just suck down insane amounts of water, granted I’ll pee ½ of out but some of it should be absorbed in my salt depleted body.

I start running again and feel pretty decent. It’s about 2 miles and a 300 foot down hill to the trail. I get back to the trail just as dark arrives. I’m running easy 8:00 pace and my legs are coming back, sort of…I see this girl on her bike and she asks me where to get water. I talk to her for a minute and tell her where a store is. I continue running and maybe a mile later she passes me from behind and her blinking tail light disappears in the distance. I am now pretty much in the middle of the woods and it is pitch black, maybe 915 at night. I run about another 1.5 miles and I come up on a bike rider laying face down in a good size pool of blood with legs still entangled in the bike. The same girl I talked to about water was standing maybe 10 feet away on the phone. The dude on the ground was a mess. Smashed face. Broken arm or collarbone at the least. Not a pretty sight. 10 minutes before and I would have came across this by myself. And when doing 50+ mile runs I never run with my phone as I don’t want to give myself an out if the run isn’t going well.  As it was it completely freaked me out to be in the middle of nowhere and come across a prone bloody corpse. I stayed for about a ½ hour until the paramedics arrived and then I was off again to finish the remaining 3 hours of running.

The run ended up sucking, 50 miles in about 8 hours, and then 5 more where I just walk/ran/waddled my scrawny ass home. I wasn’t in the mood to push it as I know it’s hard to recover from being dehydrated and I didn’t want to ruin myself for a longer time than 55 miles normally takes out of me. Still, it was a great learning experience. Having to bring myself back to life after dehydration, still being able to run 7:00 miles 40 miles into a run, managing myself at the end when spent, power walking a couple 14 minutes miles, no stomach issues, etc. I’m really looking forward to Javalina and having a good run, and 100 miles doesn’t seem so daunting anymore after all the training miles I’ve been doing.