Can't look to you can't look to anybody else
Only this way am I truly free
I wasted time too long now it's up to me” (Pennywise)
Monday, June 10, 2013
“I gotta make a plan for myself
I"ll admit that lazy people bug me. People that go on vacation and just sit around on a beach and do nothing, that bugs me too. Taking 2 hour naps is a waste of time. That’s what night is for. People that take zero initiative to see the wolrd, people that are complacent and passive...Ugh! None of this bugs me to the point that it affects me too much, but it is just waste of life. As far as I know we only have one chance on this go-round. Why wouldn’t you want to see what you can accomplish? Why wouldn’t one want to see the world and feel alive every day? And sure, I have a crap job (that pays pretty ok with good benefits) so I am not happy at that, and a career person could say the same about me, and maybe they do. I just choose to put my energies in a different place.
Running down a trail in the middle of the mountains is a serene experience that brings peace to the soul. Or pedaling a mountain bike on single track. Or riding a bicycle at 50mph down a mountain. Except for the running at the moment, these are the things that make up my life on a daily basis. But it doesn’t have to be “x” or “y” or even “z.” Find a passion, give it your all, and take it as far as you can go. People not having a passion is such a waste of life - surely something must light a fire inside. And I think the last few weeks really drove this home for me to why I think like that. A couple girls that I’m really good friends with both lost their brother, another friend of mine lost his good friend, and then another friend lost his Grandma. And sure, maybe grandma was old and maybe it was her time, but dammit to hell, for the other 3 it was NOT their time. These people had a life, a passion, were good people with people whom loved and looked up to them. And now they are not here anymore. But Sally fatass eating her gallon of ice cream sitting on the couch each day doing nothing but taking up space will live to be a 100. Life isn’t fair and I realize that. But still, get out and actually live and love life. No one is guaranteed to wake up tomorrow. And crap, I may not even survive the day to go to sleep tonight, so I am damn sure that I will do something in life today 100%.
Nothing is worse than an indecisive person either, or one that lives for others. I know what I want out of life, and have goals and sure, right now some of them are just dreams, but I will do all I can to make them happen. And if I fail so what? I am giving it my all, and I can gurantee that failure won’t be lack of effort or because I hesitated or didn’t or wouldn’t make a decision. The journey and pursuit of the goal brings so much joy and accomplishment as I work toward the endpoint. It might not work out exactly how I planned it but it should be fairly clost to my vision, because really - it’s up to me. And I won't let myself down.
That’s my rant for the day.